What is Life Coaching?
Life coaching is a series of conversations between client and coach, which help you to:
Understand your situation
Clarify how you’d like it to change
Develop strategies to do that
Keep you focused on doing that
- Deal with the human factors which tend to get in the way
– like fear, faulty reasoning, lack of or missplaced energy, pessimism and false assumptions and interpretations and limited beliefs.
Why would Anyone hire a Life Coach?
Look at your life as it is today, and as it will be in the months and years to come. If there are things you’d like to change to make your life run better, to realize ambitions, fulfill potential, be happier, less stressful, more profitable, more peaceful, sociable, or fun – then that’s something life coaching can help you with.
How it is done?
I usually coach my clients by phone, once a week or we can meet at my business in Brooklyn. Initially we start at the top of the list above, clarifying the situation you’re in, and looking at how you’d like to change it, and developing strategies. That usually takes one session.
After that, we enter a conversation in which you set yourself goals to accomplish for next week. When next week arrives, we talk about what happened – good and bad – and about what we’re going to do about it. The sessions are relaxed, friendly and fun – I use humor a lot. You’re always in charge, you’re always respected and I’m always on your side.
Why Does Coaching Work So Well?
Part of it is really straight forward, some of it is not. Here are the main factors which lead to its impressive success:
- We’re taking you out of your life to look back in on it. Many of us don’t find the time to do that often, but coaching invites you to do it weekly
- We’re changing paradigms
– away from describing how bad the problem is, into what the best solution can be.
- I’m on your side, and I’ll respect you, but I’ll also challenge you when it’s appropriate, which most friends won’t do. So you’ll see a more honest picture of your place in the world.
- I am trained to listen to what you say and find the hidden beliefs which (unlike willpower) drive your behavior. When I can show you that one of your beliefs is mistaken, I can free you up to see the world more clearly. You’ll see doors open which you didn’t know were there.
- I can help you with fear. Most of us are not consciously aware of the extent to which fear limits our lives. I won’t be pushing you off any cliffs (as I mentioned – you’re always in charge), but I can shine a gentle light on your demons and remove their power to hold you back.
- I have a host of practical skills which you can borrow. Inter-personal skills, time management, de-cluttering, maintaining focus, anecdotes from my case files, business skills, social media experience, spiritual practices and exercises, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques, and more. You have access to them all.
How will I know if coaching is for me?
Book your intial coaching consultation. It’s low cost, low risk and fun.
I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work.” — Harry S. Truman
Why can’t I get the same support from friends?
Good question! Here are some answers for you:
a) I am professionally trained to coach you. I have specific skills in listening, questioning techniques, motivation, communication and more. All of these will be focused on freeing you to become what you want to be. Your friends are unlikely to be qualified in these ways.
b) I am a successful business owner, an accomplished public speaker, I have traveled throughout the world and am a husband and proud of father of twins. I have a track record in the management of people and projects and in making my own dreams and goals happen, so I know a lot about the real world and how to motivate and direct people beginning with myself. I am an avid seeker of personal and professional development and have a vast network of people in my life who are succesful at who and how they are in the world. All of this expertise is available to you during our coaching sessions.
c) I am paid by you to work for you over the weeks and months of the coaching relationship. There are no hidden agendas. I only want want what you want; I’m not going to lose patience, become bored or self-interested. Your friends may be less reliable and less devoted.
d) Friends may be reluctant to tell you straight, because they fear that the truth will lose their relationship with you. They’re more likely to tell you what you want to hear. Your Life Coach will want to maintain a first class relationship with you too, but they are paid to help you, and will tell it like it is when they need to.
e) Some of those around you may be part of the reason you want to change. We all fear change – in ourselves – but also in others. How often do you notice friends offering you fatty foods when you’re on a diet? Without even realizing it, those around us can undermine our determination to make positive changes in our lives.
f) Our friends often come from the same background and areas as us. They may have accepted their lot in life, and may see change as impossible. They may even see ambitions as arrogant and unreasonable. Their negativity and skepticism about your potential for personal growth – or the way the world is – may be a big problem which your coach can help you with.
g) There may be some things you can’t say to friends, because they’re very private – or because your friends are part of what you want to change. Your Life Coach is professional and detached, and your work with him is confidential. You can be completely honest.
The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”
— Jordan Belfourt
How does Life Coaching differ from counseling or therapy?
Life Coaching is not about deep self-analysis or regressing to childhood events. It is forward-looking – focused in the present and the future. It is practical and down-to-earth, looking at concrete ways to make real progress in the world in the areas listed above.
Are there any problems which Life Coaching is not appropriate for?
Yes. Life Coaching is not appropriate for the following: serious medical conditions, drug addiction, or mental illness. Your coach will not necessarily be an expert in finance, business management, law, or relationship counseling. A coach can help you in these areas. Not by giving professional advice in them, but by helping you to find the professional help you need.
How many coaching sessions will I need?
Clearly I can’t guarantee how long it will take in your particular case, but from extensive experience, the average is between 4 and 8 sessions. By that time, we have usually explored the problem, defined clear, believable, exciting new goals, designed robust strategies to reach those goals, and started out down the path. We will have explored the “brain space” of the client too – finding their fears, hidden beliefs and the other things which trap people into small sad lives for poor reasons. After that, they can push forwards on their own. Some folks stay with me during this period, but drop the frequency – this way they maintain focus and energy and access to problem-solving – but at a lower cost.